Butch femme lesbian dating


01-Sep-2017 02:30

It was butch/femme writing, books like In those books, I was able to find parts of myself inside other’s words and stories, even if they were and weren’t always written for trans girls like me.They were written for the unabashedly gay and deliciously dykey parts of me and I love the ways I can relate to the stories, even if it’s not fully.Despite that the stories of trans women who love other women and situate themselves within lesbian legacies like butch/femme still feel few and far between —as well as all the ways transmisogyny exists within queer and lesbian communities — butch/femme feels like my legacy that I get to claim too.All of it created the way that my femme identity functions as a dare, a longing, and a political decision about how to move in the world.To me, femme is a queer gender with lesbian and trans lineages of femininities that challenge patriarchy, heterosexism, capitalism, cissexism, and white supremacy.It deeply informs my trans womanhood while remaining separate from it, shaping how I can inhabit a binary gender and play with it in a way that stretches past the lines patriarchy and cissexism puts in place.As a femme lesbian woman, butch/femme is a part of my legacy and history and sits at my back, having a hand in the world that I live and love in.To call myself a femme, a lesbian, or a dyke without having some reverence and gratitude for butch/femme is to act as if my existence isn’t connected to a herstory and generations of women and queers before me. When I first came out as queer and trans, I held the frankly wrong belief that butch and femme were just heteronormative mirrors of the gender binary, but for queers (bless my heart).

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Their response was, “It was obvious you were some kind of queer, but we didn’t know what — because you weren’t a gay man, obviously.” Not long after I moved to Greensboro, NC for college, my old band broke up, which began a slow shift away from punk/DIY communities that was central to my life, making room for change and new ways of navigating and inhabiting the world.I want it to be a life we constantly braid together from the threads of our existence, a rope we make, a flexible weapon, stronger than steel, that we use to pull down the walls that imprison us at the borders.” – Minnie Bruce Pratt, ‘Border’, s/he Of course, to treat butch/femme as the end-all-be-all would be to do the same limiting of queer and lesbian gender brilliance and magical constellations of ways we can connect, build, and love each other.



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